*at dinner* mom: Josh, there's pizza on your face. bro: *no

*at dinner*
mom: Josh, there's pizza on your face.
bro: *no response*
mom: *tries to hand him napkin*
bro: *no response*
me: YO THERE IS PIZZA ON YOUR FACE FOOL. CLEAN IT.
mom:
dad:
bro:
dog:
me: *pizza falls out of mouth*

*later*
dad: Syd-popadoo!
me: huh?
dad: nothing I just felt like saying that
dad: look our dog is so sophisticated. he drinks scotch.
me: ...
dad: *shoves glass of scotch in dog's face*
dog: *walks away*
me: you got told.