One year ago........ I tried to kill
myself, I txted one of the people who has helped me through so
much. I told him I was going to kill myself after school, he went
and told the principal. Before this happened I went to a therapist
for awhile and it was helping but at that moment I didn't see a
reason anymore. This is the conversation between the principal,
vice principal, and me.
Principal: Do you know why you are here?
Me: No, am I in trouble for something. (My heart was beating like a drum)
Vice principal: Your friend came in here and showed us a text you sent him this morning. (He pulls out his phone and shows me the text I sent my friend) Did you send this to him?
Me: Yes I did.
Principal: What were you thinking Ashley?
Me: I really don't know.
Vice Principal: There has to be a reason, you just don't send a text like this for no reason.
Me: I want to kill myself, honstly I really want to kill myself. I don't see a reason anymore to be here, if no one is going to give a crap about me. Ever since my aunt dying, she was my best friend I just want to be with her and be happy again.
After that and more talking about it they called my mom and she called my dad then my therapist.
4 hours later......
Therapist: What's going on Ashley?
Me: I just don't see a reason anymore. (tears were flowing down my cheeks)
Therapist: What made you think of killing yourself....
Me: I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw, I looked down at my wrists and saw my fresh cuts, (I had cut for many years before this) I just couldn't take it anymore.
Therapist: Ashley, you do know that these thoughts you are having can be faught.
Me: I try I really do but I just can't stop the constant being made fun of for how I look, the scars on my wrist make me remember how strong I was to make it through it. I just don't know what to do anymore, I just want to end it all.
Therapist: You have a loving mother, father, sister, friends, and everyone else. If you were to take your own life just think of how they would feel. That's why you are here, people who care about you are here to help you get better. Or from what your dad has told me to see that beautiful smile of yours.
Me: I thought they would be happier without me, I am the dissapointment in their life.
The rest of the conversation was about me and how I can't think those things anymore.
It is now a year ago ever since this happened, I am now a year clean from cutting my suicidal thoughts still come but I have learned to fight them now.
Thank you all for whoever read this.
Principal: Do you know why you are here?
Me: No, am I in trouble for something. (My heart was beating like a drum)
Vice principal: Your friend came in here and showed us a text you sent him this morning. (He pulls out his phone and shows me the text I sent my friend) Did you send this to him?
Me: Yes I did.
Principal: What were you thinking Ashley?
Me: I really don't know.
Vice Principal: There has to be a reason, you just don't send a text like this for no reason.
Me: I want to kill myself, honstly I really want to kill myself. I don't see a reason anymore to be here, if no one is going to give a crap about me. Ever since my aunt dying, she was my best friend I just want to be with her and be happy again.
After that and more talking about it they called my mom and she called my dad then my therapist.
4 hours later......
Therapist: What's going on Ashley?
Me: I just don't see a reason anymore. (tears were flowing down my cheeks)
Therapist: What made you think of killing yourself....
Me: I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw, I looked down at my wrists and saw my fresh cuts, (I had cut for many years before this) I just couldn't take it anymore.
Therapist: Ashley, you do know that these thoughts you are having can be faught.
Me: I try I really do but I just can't stop the constant being made fun of for how I look, the scars on my wrist make me remember how strong I was to make it through it. I just don't know what to do anymore, I just want to end it all.
Therapist: You have a loving mother, father, sister, friends, and everyone else. If you were to take your own life just think of how they would feel. That's why you are here, people who care about you are here to help you get better. Or from what your dad has told me to see that beautiful smile of yours.
Me: I thought they would be happier without me, I am the dissapointment in their life.
The rest of the conversation was about me and how I can't think those things anymore.
It is now a year ago ever since this happened, I am now a year clean from cutting my suicidal thoughts still come but I have learned to fight them now.
Thank you all for whoever read this.
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