So I went to the store,
on Monday,
to buy...
things.
Me: *stands awkwardly and
miserably at the cash register where there is an insanely hot
cashier who's like 18 and an old fat security guard standing
nearby for god knows what reason*
Cashier: *starts checking out my tampons,
tissues, toilet paper, and nose spray*
Security Guard: *starts cracking up*
Me: *awkward death glare that's not as
menicing as I wanted it to be*
Cashier: *dying of laughter*
Security Guard: Well, you've got liquid
comin' outta all your holes!
Cashier: *literally falls over from laughing so
hard*
Me: *blushes*
Me: *secretly hiding laughter*
Me: *grabs a paper bag, rips 2 holes out, and
puts it on my head*
Me: *walks away silently without taking any of
the stuff I'd originally wanted to buy*
Me: *gets to the car*
Me: *dies*
Mom: where's all the stuff you needed?
Me: don't. ask. just. drive.
Mom: well sh*t I'll do it you p*ssy
Mom: *gets out of car*
~~~ 15 minutes later
~~~
Mom: *gets in car with a blush*
Me: it happened to you too?
Mom: shut the h*ll up.
wow, love, that's hilarious