In the time that I've been here on Witty, which really isn't

In the time that I've been here on Witty, which really isn't long, I have come to realize that a lot of these beautiful and handsome people cut. I don't understand. I don't understand how it is that they could mark up their skin and create all these scars. I've had it explained to me by my ex-boyfriend. "It" meaning cutting. It's a way to releave all the pressure built up inside of you. But, I still don't understand.
Well, I didn't understand. Not until today.
I've cut before. I'm finally ready to admit that. I cut because some kid said something horrible to me right in front of my friend, and she never did anything about it. I don't know why I did it. I felt better after, but I also felt so embarrassed. I felt like a hyprocrite. I'm on here, always saying that you don't need to mark up your skin. And yet, I did it.
I didn't have anything sharp, so I just scratched at my arm with my nail until it began to bleed. On that day, I promised myself that I would never do it again. And I hadn't. I hadn't cut in four or five months. And i just broke that promise. I cut. Just now. A centimeter away from the cut I promised over. I scratched again, but this time I didn't let it get too far. I didn't physically bleed, but I was close to it.
I stopped myself. I couldn't believe what I was doing. And now I hate myself. I don't know what to do right now.
I don't know if you actually read all this, but if you did, I love you. If you have any advice, I'd really appreciate it.

~codababy37