Trigger
warning
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Triggered. Chapter Four.
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The halls were empty and cold looking; the lunch
bell has already rung and I’m supposed to be in English
right now. I sighed and cursed at myself for losing track of time
and I hurried off to class as quickly as my sore legs would carry
me. I quietly walked in and a few heads shot up from their books;
one of them belonged to Corry. Our eyes locked for a moment
before he turned away from me and continued to read.
I sat in my regular seat in the back corner.
It’s not like we have assigned seats, it’s just that
I like this one seat because no one really notices you if your
alone in a corner. Sometimes while I’m in this class room I
feel like the girl in the corner of a perfect picture; the girl
with no smile on her face in the back behind everyone in
class.
I looked up at Mrs. Treat she nodded at me as
if she understood what I’m going through. I’ve never
talked to her, I only listen and follow instructions. We both
seem to be perfectly fine with doing so; just as long as I turn
in work on time.
I took out my book Lullaby and opened it up
but didn’t read; my mind elsewhere. I thought about
Cory and how I just pushed him away like I wasn’t even
interested. The truth is, I like him but I know I can’t do
anything about it. If I did and I really fell in love with him
and got close to him, everything would be over. He’d see
all of my scars and think I’m a monster. I mean hell,
it’s my body and I think I’m hideous. My life’s
biggest mistake is letting it get so bad that I ran to that razor
blade.
Suddenly something hit me right in the chest and
fell onto my desk with hardly any sound. I looked up and around
the room. Cory was shyly waving at me. I gave him a small sad
smile then picked up the note he had thrown at me. My heart was
racing and I felt my face redden. Silently I opened the note up,
it read, ‘I’m sorry for today… It’s just
that, I really like you. The guy you like must be very lucky to
have a girl like you chasing after him.’
My breath caught in my throat and I made a little
hiccup sound as I tried to breathe normally. The girl sitting
next to me noticed and mouthed, ‘you okay?’ I nodded
at her and she went back to reading. I took out a pencil and
wrote back to him saying, ‘it’s alright…
/:’ I tossed it back at him and hit him lightly on the head
with it.
As I waited I took my pencil and started to lightly stab
at my legs. A moment later the note came flying my way; I caught
it without a problem. All the note said was, ‘/:’ and
that was it. It took all my strength to keep my breathing normal.
It still felt strange, the way I was breathing. I started getting
the feeling of a really bad anxiety attack. It felt worse than
normal, my chest tightened and my breathing caught in my throat
again and I started to cough.
I had one hand clenching my chest trying to make the
feeling go away. I tried taking a deep breath but it got caught
in my throat and I started coughing, tears stung at my eyes and
blurred my vision. I could feel the stare of the other students.
I started to sweat a bit despite the cold chill in the room. The
girl next to me tried patting my back but her touching me
freighted me and made me flinch. I shot up out of my chair and
ran out the door stopping outside of it.
Soon I stopped coughing and was just taking deep
heaving breaths. The teacher came out to make sure I was okay.
She asked if I needed to go to the nurse’s office, I said I
was alright and there was no need to worry about me. She returned
to class. The feeling had left, and I finally relaxed and
leaned against the cool brick wall. I’ve never had an
attack that bad. I took a few more calming breathes of air and
wiped my face clean then walked back into the class room;
everyone’s eyes on me.
I felt my face redden as I walked back to my seat
and started to actually read. I was so embarrassed.
~~~~
The rest of the day continued on and nothing else
happened. Me and Amber met up between classes and laughed about
how some girl freaked out over a dog in P.e. We talked about what
boys were cute and which ones weren’t our type. It was
calming and fun.
When it came to the point where it was time to go
home, I said I would see Amber later and that I was walking home.
I took my time getting my things from my locker when a note fell
out of one of my chemistry note book that was full of
doddles.
I expected it to be from Cory, or Amber or even
Katie; but it wasn’t. The writing was a tad bit sloppy but
easy to read.
‘Dear Annaleah,
Let’s (10) take a drive. (5)
I’ll be waiting out front for you by the bus threes loading
spot. (7)
From,
me.
P.s, you never know who could be looking over your shoulder when
you open your locker. Such and easy locker combination to
remember.’
I wonder who it could be. Katie only writes in
cursive because she thinks it’s real classy. Cory, well his
hand writing is much neater, plus he takes the bus and
they’ve already left by now. Amber would start out a letter
with, ‘Hey babe’ then after she’s done writing
she would spray it with sweet perfume.
I walked outside the school and headed cautiously
over to the buses loading spots. There was no one there. I knew
it had to be some kind of joke or trick. I looked around once
more for the stranger or some other cars; but there was nothing
here.
Just as I started to walk away a grey car drove past
me; Katie’s car. Her hand was stuck out the window; giving
me the middle finger. I looked away from her direction and
started to walk home as fast as I could. Of course she would do
something like that. She could have paid some guy to look over my
shoulder and have him write that note. I should have ignored it
to begin with.