I need to get this all out.
Im bi-sexual and only my sister knows.
I have dated girls before, but more guys.
My parents found out before and almost kicked me out.
Instead they just said I was lying and it was to get
attention.
Everything I do is seen at me just wanting attention.
I dont see how that works out, saying as I hate
attention.
Im not pretty enough, or social enough.
I mean, yes, we have some socially awkward people on here but im
just wierd.
I can dislike people, but still be nice to them.
I normally have to reply to people, or I feel bad for ignoring
them.
Evevtually I just go into anxiety.
Its really bad sometimes.
I would be crying and shaking in the middle of class with a bunch
of worried teens around me.
They never know what to do, they aren't used to it.
Im glad they arent. I hate having to deal with it, I would never
put it on someone else.
Not even him.
The guy who tried to shot me when I was 9 because I needed to take
my sister home.
The guy who even though I didnt realize it at the time, made me
look back at the past and think am I really needed to be gone that
bad?
I've only told that story to one person. My dear friend
Madison.
I just started talking to her this year but I trust her more than I
normally trust people after years of knowing them.
I've told her about him, and Luna.
Luna...I really liked her. She was about 17 when I met her. She was
depressed.
She was being stalked by this guy, eventually she faked suicide. I
believed her.
I couldnt tell my parents, they would know I was going to date her
soon then.
Eventually I found out about her lies. How she didn't commit
suicide, and how it wasnt her mom blaming me.
It was always her. she was the one causing the problems. I
called her over and over than night, hoping she would answer like
normal, and we would talk before going to sleep. It just didnt
happen. I was devistated.
But, I guess it had to happen.
Just like everything else.
Like, thoughout elementary school, I was made fun of for my dads
rank in the military.
He had to go overseas alot but that didnt matter.
The other army kids got to see their dad more than I did.
My first full year with my dad was when I was 4.
He wasnt even there for my birth.
In 5th grade they made a group for kids with dads who went overseas
alot.
I think there was a total of about 5 people in there.
We got pulled out of class just to talk.
They probably thought of us as statistics.
Like over half the people in prison had daddy
issues.
I guess thats what teachers see me as.
I didnt get to see my dad much, and I have a few things on my
record.
All I am, is a statistic. Another kid to up the
percentage.
teen suicide, self harm, depression, daddy problems, army
brat, all of those, just put me as another
number.