you know whats fucked up? im not scared of my oesophagus rupturing.
im not scared of electrolyte imbalances. im not scared of gastric
rupture. im not scared of arrhythmia. all of those i could die
from. im already showing signs of the first two and at times, the
last one. but im not scared.
what im scared of is the starvation eating away at my brain cells.
i would rather die than lose my intelligence. ive lost my looks to this disease. my hair falls out, my teeth are rotting, my skin's a joke. i can't be stupid too.
im more scared of being stupid than i am of dying a painful death from bulimia.
if thats not fucked idk what is sorry
what im scared of is the starvation eating away at my brain cells.
i would rather die than lose my intelligence. ive lost my looks to this disease. my hair falls out, my teeth are rotting, my skin's a joke. i can't be stupid too.
im more scared of being stupid than i am of dying a painful death from bulimia.
if thats not fucked idk what is sorry
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I did. my family didn't stop watching me and I had to go to a therapist, but it was the best decision of my life. really. and slowly, every time I eat that guilty feeling gets a tiny bit smaller. Not to say I still don't have bad days and relapse. but truthfully. please at least try to get better.