Bed Quote #6618327
all quotes · bed · tagsarestupid · jumping · funny ·

One time I tried jumping onto my bed like I saw in a movie and

One time I tried jumping onto my bed like I saw in a movie and I missed and hit the ground really hard and I laid there on the cold ground wondering why I haven't been killed off by natural selection yet.

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Coast2Coast

posted February 7, 2013 at 5:28pm UTC tagged with bed, tagsarestupid, jumping, funny

more quotes by Coast2Coast

“But I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it booty-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted booties now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom—Beyoncé brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall booty, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a 'female' gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and the chest of a barbie doll. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.” ~Tina Fey
That awkward moment when you have a dream about a fictional boyfriend...and you have feelings for him when you wake up.

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