~Maybe. . .~
Prologue
It was Friday night. I remember it all so well.
I was at his football game, and it was around 9. I
did love supporting my school, but I came mainly just to watch him.
They won, 34-31, a really close game.
But he did great. I was so proud of him. A
t the end of the game, I saw him walking over.
I was nervous, I had no idea what to say to him.
My palms had begun to sweat, and my knees were wobbly.
He said hey, and I said hey back.
I told him he did great that game.
He said thanks, and asked if I wanted to go out to
eat with the rest of the football team.
I calmly said yes, even though I was estatic inside.
We went to Ruby Tuesday's at first, but they were booked, so we ended up going to Applebee's. We ate so much food, and he and I couldn't stop talking. After we finished, he offered to drive me home. I said yes, and that it was really sweet. We were on the way to my house when his car ran out of gas. We stopped at a gas station and when he filled up, he asked if I wanted to stay at his place for a little while. I said sure.
That night, that magical Friday night, was the night he kissed me and asked me to be his girlfriend. And 13 months later, we are finished. There is nothing left of us. We are through. and I am left broken.
I am Aleah, and this is my story.
It was Friday night. I remember it all so well.
I was at his football game, and it was around 9. I
did love supporting my school, but I came mainly just to watch him.
They won, 34-31, a really close game.
But he did great. I was so proud of him. A
t the end of the game, I saw him walking over.
I was nervous, I had no idea what to say to him.
My palms had begun to sweat, and my knees were wobbly.
He said hey, and I said hey back.
I told him he did great that game.
He said thanks, and asked if I wanted to go out to
eat with the rest of the football team.
I calmly said yes, even though I was estatic inside.
We went to Ruby Tuesday's at first, but they were booked, so we ended up going to Applebee's. We ate so much food, and he and I couldn't stop talking. After we finished, he offered to drive me home. I said yes, and that it was really sweet. We were on the way to my house when his car ran out of gas. We stopped at a gas station and when he filled up, he asked if I wanted to stay at his place for a little while. I said sure.
That night, that magical Friday night, was the night he kissed me and asked me to be his girlfriend. And 13 months later, we are finished. There is nothing left of us. We are through. and I am left broken.
I am Aleah, and this is my story.
Hey-ohhhh! This is just the
prologue guys!!!! Please tell me if you like the story or not,
and if I should continue. Please give me feedback, I need your
honest opinions!!! If you like the story, please comment and
follow me for the rest. Love ya, lovies!!!! Don't forget to
like and follow!!
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Christina*
1 decade ago
I like it, but I do suggest that maybe if you'd take out the Ruby Tuesday part, it seems kind of pointless since they end up going to Apple Bees. I'd like to try to slow it down a bit. Add more details. What I am saying is don't tell me you were at the game. Make me feel like I am there with you. Describe your feelings when your team had a touch down, did you scream? Did you clap? Stuff like that. And I agree with what Yazgirl said, add more dialogue so we can know more about this guy, what does he look like? is he funny? nice? etc Basically all I am saying is good story but slow it down:)
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clearlytruthful
1 decade ago
Great start notify me when ch1 comes out
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yazgirl1
1 decade ago
This is a great start! Make sure to include more dialogue since it makes everything more interesting. I would love to hear more of this! :D :)
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Aphrodite
1 decade ago
Ooh, I do like it. I think you have a really good start here. I can't wait for the rest! :)
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budcool
1 decade ago
its AWESOME!!! can u tell me when u post more of the story? thanks :D
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dillygirl13
1 decade ago
oh my gosh! this is fantastic I love it! I like that ending of the prologue it is unexpected!
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ASongOfIceAndDirewolves*
1 decade ago
I definitely think you should continue!! I'm sure there's a lot of ways you could go with this and I'm excited to see how it goes!!! Good luck! :D
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SarahParkyn15
1 decade ago
Write more girly, it should be a good one :)
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Arcade1012
1 decade ago
It sounds good, I probably won't read it (no offence, I just don't like reading stories here >.<) but yes, it sounds good.
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JadaTooGorgeous
1 decade ago
soo great
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pervey_sage_girl
1 decade ago
haha this is great :D
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WinkWink1
1 decade ago
Ooh wanna read it now!! Notify plz
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KatyPerryFan
1 decade ago
Reaally good, please notify!
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doublesidedice
1 decade ago
This is really good so far. I love the way you set it all up....continue please :)
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free_like_a_bird
1 decade ago
thank you:) and thanks for the feedback
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doublesidedice
1 decade ago
No problem...you're good....I always wished I could write like that
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free_like_a_bird
1 decade ago
thank you so much!!!! and i bet you can write better than me, you just gotta write from your heart
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doublesidedice
1 decade ago
No problem and yeah right. I try all the time but they always end up bad in the end....I can write a quote, politics, and what I feel but never a story
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free_like_a_bird
1 decade ago
you should try writing something on witty. even if it's not good, just give it a try. i promise i will like all of them
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doublesidedice
1 decade ago
Haha ok...I'll try...thanks :)
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free_like_a_bird
1 decade ago
no problem :)
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doublesidedice
1 decade ago
So how has your day been?
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free_like_a_bird
1 decade ago
actually pretty good, thanks for asking. how 'bout you?
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doublesidedice
1 decade ago
Um a girl hated on me for my quote on my view of American politics so I blocked/ignored/reported her....and I'm super tired but Internet is keeping me awake. But other than that I'm as happy as can be :)
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free_like_a_bird
1 decade ago
that sucks, just like US politics. I had an early dismissal cause it was snowing!!!!
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doublesidedice
1 decade ago
Lucky! It's barely humid outside here in georgia
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free_like_a_bird
1 decade ago
yeah, excep for the fact that it's gonna be at least like a foot of snow
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doublesidedice
1 decade ago
Still...lucky! We have to go to school and be bored to death
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