Awesome Quote #6623949
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I'm awesome, what's your excuse?

I'm awesome,
what's your excuse?

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SweatBandit

posted February 10, 2013 at 2:04pm UTC tagged with awesome, epic, funny

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>Be 21. >Girlfriend is 19 >Been dating for months now. >This guy named Joe comes out of nowhere into my life. >He's my new coworker at my company. >Find out he has no money and no place of residence. >He moved here for the money and can no longer afford his hotel room. >I decide to open up to him >Let him stay in my apartment for weeks. >Bro is pretty cool >We play xbox, drink beers, and watch football. >This continues for months >Afterwards, find out girlfriend is pregnant >By tradition, I have to marry her now. >One night, I'm eating out at dinner with her. >Joe stayed late at the office for overtime >I pop the question to my girlfriend. >She admits Joe r/ped her and the baby is not mine. >She isn't ready for a commitment after being violated. >Go home in f/cking rage. >Throw out all Joe's sh/t. >Gonna kill Joe when he gets home. >Joe gets home about 1 a.m. >As soon as he opens door, I punch him in the face. >Eyes swell up like a ball of cotton >He swings at me >Dodge and sweep his leg >He falls down >Go to my room and grab a handgun from my drawer >Go back to confront Joe >Joe jumps in his car and f/cking hightails it out of there. >I haven't seen or heard from him since. >On the phone a month later with my brother >He asks why I've been so depressed >I tell him, If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe, >I'd been married long time ago >Where did you come from? Where did you go? >Where did you come from Cotton-Eyed Joe? Follow for a follow.
BravoSierra's format That awesome moment when someone has already typed in the exact questions for your homeowrk on YahooAnswers.
i hate reading a story with good writing but a terrible plot almost as much as i hate reading a story with terrible writing but a good plot.
me: *spends 2 hours on essay on computer* me: Finally done! me: *exits without saving* me: me: me: me: me: *twitches*