Why??? I didnt try to. I tried to forget, and not look at him.

Why??? I didnt try to. I tried to forget, and not look at him. Now, everyday i try not to go over and start talking to him. Those moments when he actually comes over to me, i feel so happy. I start smiling and singing inside. Then i imagining what it would be like if he liked me back, and force myself to stop. I try to learn what he likes and what he doesnt, just so i can start a conversation with him. Is that wrong? I guess this is what it feels like. I dont want to. He'll never like me back, yet i still feel like this? I cant wait until i have class with him but i dread the moment he comes over and starts talking to me, yet i might die if he doesnt. I search for his head in the hallway and easily find it, but pray he doesnt look at me. At the same time i want him to see me, trying so hard to get his attention. Is this how everyone else feels? I dont understand. Walking down the hallway near him, i glow. It makes me wonder if it's obvious to anyone. I'm an expert at keeping feelings hidden, but-this hasnt happened  to me before. How do i hide this feeling that occupies my thoughts at every minute?
                                         Why do people dream of love, when it hurts so much?