in
his arms
Chapter 61
I had to leave Anthony’s hospital room to
vomit in the bathroom just down the hall. My breathing shortened
and I felt incessant tears roll down my cheeks. I pinched my eyes
shut, hoping that if I blocked out my vision, it would block out
everything else too.
That wasn’t the case.
I didn’t return to Anthony’s hospital room that day,
or any day following. I couldn’t look him in the face. I
couldn’t be around him. Not with the guilt I felt.
*
* *
I remained unmoving from my bed. This was the fourth day straight
that I’d just laid there. A pool of tears collected on my
cheek from past days, and it felt like as the weather grew colder
and more desolate with the upcoming winter, so did the rest of my
life.
A gentle rapping on the door was heard, but I ignored it, just
like I had everything else. It wasn’t dinnertime yet, so
whatever I was being called for was unimportant.
Though I hadn’t given the person permission to come in,
they did anyways. “I didn’t say come in,” I
growled.
“You also didn’t say stay out.”
I knew the voice all too well. I flipped over on my bed, sitting
up now. “Anthony?”
He breathed deeply. “Hey, Kail.”
I just stared at him for a moment. “I didn’t think
you’d come.”
“Why not?”
I bowed my head. “I thought you hated me.”
He took a seat on my bed beside me. “That’s…
ridiculous. I just needed time to think.”
“About what?”
“Everything.”
His hand brushed over mine so gently, like he was afraid of
touching me. “Don’t treat me like I’m so
fragile,” I kidded, nudging him. “I’m not like
that.”
“I’ve always treated you fragile,” he hummed.
Before I could comment on it, he blurted, “Look, Kail,
I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything that’s
happened. I mean, I need to be here. I need to be with you, I
need to help you. I need to spend as much time with you as I
can.”
“The doctors said I could have years left.”
“They also said you could only have weeks.”
I swallowed my words.
“I love you,” he told me. “And, I just, I
don’t know. My entire life has kind of been sporadic and
random, like there was nothing stable. And you were the first
thing in my life to ever be stable. You were the first thing that
was always there, no matter what. And I saw myself with you. I
found myself with you, and I found a future with you.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, the words wouldn’t
fit in my mouth properly. “I’m here,” I
murmured, because it was all I could promise. It wasn’t
much, but it was enough. “For now, at least, I’m
here.”
I
think Witty finds pleasure in being an absolute f.cktard. If
Chapter 60 didn't show up on your feed, then it's
Witty's fault, and go read it now. It only got like 30 faves
and apparently there was a swear even though the whole 'Holy
Ship' thing didn't come up. But yeah. If it does that
again I might have a panic attack. Just saying.
*I don't notify, please
don't ask.*
But it didn't show up.
I might flip a desk.
Be right back.