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posted April 6, 2013 at 1:22am UTC tagged with
friend, zoned, justinoff, cute
more quotes by Acacicat
related quotes
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Friend: Next time a blocked number calls you, answer like this--"Jim's wh.ore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe."
Me: No. How about, "Nashville sp.erm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. How may I help you?"
Friend: No, you should say--"Henderson's Morgue, you stab em, we slab em. This is Eight Ball speaking."
Me: I think I should say, "Texas creatorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em. How can I direct your call?"
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Me: I wish I had a toilet and sink in the corner of my room so I wouldn't have to walk all the way to the bathroom.
Friend: That's a prison cell
Me: In prison your food gets cooked for you, as well. I'm beginning to think that murdering people I don't like wouldn't be such a bad thing.
Friend: You do realize that we're in public and a police officer might be around
Me: Oh no, what are they going to do? Send me to prison?
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Me: What if rocks are actually soft but they tense up when we touch them?
Friend: How stoned are you?
Me: Was that a f.cking pun?
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Once my friend was waiting for her mom to pick her up and she called her
mom and her mom said, "I'm on my way. Traffic is just slow." and my friend said, "Mom, I called the house phone."
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