Last night, I cut for the first time in MONTHS.
I was so proud of myself.. I thought I was finally getting better. I was wrong, oh so wrong.
I feel like my emotions are a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.
I have never wanted to die more last night than I have before.
I was able to stop myself after 3 cuts, but I couldn't even get any words out. I just screamed into my pillow.
No one was home, but I didn't want my neighbors to think I was getting killed or something.
I haven't felt like this in years. I felt hopeless.
I hate myself.
I'm 17 and I hate myself.
I was so proud of myself.. I thought I was finally getting better. I was wrong, oh so wrong.
I feel like my emotions are a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.
I have never wanted to die more last night than I have before.
I was able to stop myself after 3 cuts, but I couldn't even get any words out. I just screamed into my pillow.
No one was home, but I didn't want my neighbors to think I was getting killed or something.
I haven't felt like this in years. I felt hopeless.
I hate myself.
I'm 17 and I hate myself.
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so don't let anything bring you down
just look at it as an experience that you will over come
but i myself suffer from depression, anxiety, self harming and suicidal thoughts.
i was just like you doing fine. thinking i was okay. everyone else thought i was too.
but i could feel myself slipping back to the way i was. i was losing it.
and a week ago. i snapped. i have never been so afraid of killing myself ever.
i was up fighting with my parents trying to get them to understand that i wasnt okay.
i was crying a shaking until about 2 in the morning.
they thought i was doing fine. but clearly i wasnt.
Wednesday im going to start seeing my shrink again. and im getting put back on anti-depressants.
please get help. i know i dont know you personally. but i hate knowing someone else is going through and feeling the same way i do.