I wish for once I could look in the mirror and see me The real

I wish for once I could look in the mirror and see me
The real me
Not the broken me
Not the screw up
Not the fake smile and fake laugh me
I want it to be real
I was my smile back
My happiness
Instead I see a damn mess up
Full of stress
Causing stress
Acting is becoming damn hard for me when my best friend left
I feel like a have no one...
Like I'm lost...
I cry myself to sleep every night
And for what? To do it all again tomorrow?
I guess what's what I'm good for now....
Sorry guys...I just can't take it anymore