Alexander
I just want you back, honestly and
truely just come the hell back. I can't get used to this
pain. I stare at your pictures and i realize you will never smile
again, you will never breathe again, you can't come hug me
when i'm crying, you can't type a simple hello into the
chat bar. Never will i see your eye, never will i hold your hand,
the only way i can lay with you is if i lay on your grave. This
wasn't suppose to happen to us, we were suppose to be
something. Why did this happen? Why couldn't you just have
gotten better? I paryed to a god that i don't believe one
ounce about for 3 months and i never stopped never once. Why are
you gone? Alex i need you so much it hurts. I curl up into a ball
when i get home and i don't leave that position. Ronnie
has to baby sit me because all i want to do is take this pain
away. I cut your name into my thighs about 80 times, and on my am
and on my stomach, they say it gets easier but i don't see
this pain fading, just come back. Tell me it was all a joke, Show
up in a closet, Call me love, Say hello, anything... Alex i will
take anything :s Please please i would do anything just to have
you back :s 2 long weeks without you :s it will never get
easier.
I wise man once said:
Deep down i know that one day,
I want to look back,
Back on the scars,
The abuse,
The death,
The pain,
Even the happiness.
I want to stare into the distance,
A peaceful mind,
I want to smile and say
"I made it."
You should listen to your own advise. I know it's hard, but you're a strong person. I know you said that you don't believe in Heaven and stuff, but even then, he's in a better place now. And he's looking down upon you just as you're looking up at him. Stay strong x