Brother- *cuts onion in half* Brother- "Ew, I didn't

Brother- *cuts onion in half*

Brother- "Ew, I didn't know onions oozed."

Me- "It's crying."

Brother- "...What?"

Me- "It's crying. Wouldn't you cry if you were cut in half?"

Brother- "No. I probably wouldn't do anything."

Brother- "Except ooze."