Forgot your password?
Don't have a username?
Tap here to get one.
Forgot your password?
Need a username?
Signs That You're Too Drunk ... 24. You lose arguments with
Signs That You're Too Drunk ...
24. You lose arguments with objects.
23. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
22. Your Job is interfering with your drinking.
21. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
20. Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
19. You sincerely believe alcohol to be the 5th food group.
18. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? - I think not!
17. Two hands and just one mouth... - now that's a drinking problem!
16. You can focus better with one eye closed.
15. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
14. Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.
13. You fall off the floor...
12. Hey, five beers has just as many calories as a burger, forget dinner!
11. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
10. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
9.Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
8.The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
7.You think Three Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, and Alcohol.
6.Roseanne looks good.
5.Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
4.That pink elephant followed you home again.
3.You're as jober as a sudge.
2.You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.
and last but not least...
1.Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops!
Post to Facebook
Tweet on Twitter
Pin to Pinterest
This is not a quote
Be the first to comment on this quote.
to leave a comment.
7 Wittians like this
posted April 3, 2009 at 4:18pm UTC tagged with
more quotes by funkyfunkyfresh
click to see this quote
It hurts to look at the past cause we don't know how? we lived without the present
"i felt like i had to work hard to deserve everything. even the basic, for granted things. i couldn't just eat, i couldn't just be loved. in the same way i would compensate for a meal, i always thought i could only love after making up. i had to keep scores so i could stay one step behind. i had to suffer to prove to myself that i was deserving. what a heartbreakingly silly thing to have learnt."
Listen more than you speak, sniff more than you listen.
I am not trying to raise my value, but God gave me a high value and status. He made me a distinct human being. I am not like animals fighting each other and practicing random sexual habits.I have to preserve my value and surrender it to my Creator after my death, just as he delivered it to me
The Past shouldn’t rob the Present, the Present is a Gift. The Future shouldn’t destroy this Moment, this Moment is meant to be Lived!
Print a poster
Really Good Quotes
© 2003-2020 Witty Profiles