Chapter 4
That blade, so thin and so sharp. It
could cause so much damage, yet so much relief. I grabbed it from
inside my bag without hesitation. I frantically pulled up my
sleeve, seeing the faint scars from the past. I pushed
the razor hard against my bare skin, and slid it side ways. The
rich red blood gushed down my arm like a twisting river of silk.
That pain. It hurt so much but it felt so good. I did it again,
making a deeper incision in to my flesh. I did it again, I
couldn't stop myself. Another and another. As the blade sliced
across my arm I saw that my hands were red. By this point there
were several deep cuts going down my arm, and the blood covered my
arms and sleeves. I fell to the floor, and huddled myself into a
ball. My face was soaked in tears, my arms and hands soaked in
blood. I whined, surrownded by the puddles of my misery. Few a few
minutes I didn't move, didn't make a sound, just cried
silently.
I heard the doors open and quickly got myself up. I pulled the
hoody off of me and shoved it and the razor to the pit of my bag. I
grabbed some tissue and wiped my eyes dry, and tried to get as much
of the blood off my hands as I could. I took a deep breath and made
myself a bit more tidy. I slowly opened the toilet door, and walked
out. I washed my hands, trying to ignore the two staring girls that
found me so amusing.
I wiped m hands dry as I heard one say
" Urgh it's that loser. Has someone been cutting
again?" As she smirked.
I didn't make eye contact with either one of them.
"Haha yeah, whata weirdo. Either that or she's on her
period!"
Laughed the other.
I could feel the lump in my throat, and I knew I was going to cry.
I tried to hold it in, not look weak.
The more dominant one of the two elbowed me aside and pushed open
the door of the toilet I had just come out of.
"Urgh, that's disgusting, do you know what to use a
tampon!? Haha, stupid freak, lets have a look at your arm ey, come
on, I wanna see those gross cuts"
She said pulling my bag roughly off my shoulder.
"No, can you just... leave me alone ok"
I said, my voice getting wobbly, and the tears starting to brim on
my eye lid.
"You're so sad, you know that?" "Come on, I
wanna see the cuts."
She said, pushing me hard.
I held my sleeves down, not wanting them to see what I had done to
myself.
"Whatever you suicidal maniac, get a life."
The other came behind me and pulled up my sleeve hard, I struggled,
as they pointed and laughed.
The tears were yet again flowing heavily as I grabbed my bag and
ran out.
The corridors were full of people going to their first lesson, but
I didn't care. I ran against the crowd, knocking into people
infront of me, until I got outside. I yelled at the top of my
voice, which obviously caught some peoples attention. I shouted and
I screamed, I didn't care about all the funny looks I got, I
just needed to get out.