i know how to do a lot of things.
i know how to make paper dolls that stand in neat lines with their hands locked together.
i know how to bandage up a duckling's broken leg at just the right angle so the bone sets and the pain stops and it can learn to walk again on the palm of my hand
i know how to bake brownies that taste like heaven and smell even better than that
i know how to sit on the end of a bed and watch my father shake and bleed as his lungs give up on him and his heart gives out and his hands turn blue
i know how to sit in the bath and scrub myself raw because i am seven years old and i am very scared of waking up tomorrow and i am dirty from her hands on me
i know how to write good stories
i know how to sing babies to sleep no matter how hard they're crying
i know how to crawl under a table or a desk or a doorway in earthquakes and i know how to pick the broken glass out of my hair afterwards
i know how to calculate the interior and exterior angles of a regular polygon
i know how to play the piano
i know how to cry into his pillow and sink into his sheets and wish that he was just a little lighter on top of me
i know how to draw the other eye
i know how to do a lot of things
and they are important things
(even the bad ones).
i know how to do a lot of things
but no matter how hard i try
the one thing i've never managed to do
is kill me
(i can never quite figure out
if that's a good thing or not.).
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until then ... quote the beatles, and let it be ;) x