Today I went to my cousins because we are planning our family
vacation. I was sitting in my 9 year old cousins bedroom while she
and her sister (7) painted my nails. My cousin gave me a bracelet.
I said I loved it because it matched all my other ones. The glowing
look on her face was amazing. And then I started thinking
about what those bracelets were hiding. And I looked at my cousins
and thought about how small and innocent they are. And I looked at
the wrist full of bracelets she was giving away my 9 year old
cousin was wearing and thought about how I am so glad those
bracelets aren't hiding anything. If they had to go through
what I go through, if either of those amazing little girls were to
make slits on their skin, I don't know what I would do. And I
remember I was a little girl like that too once. A little girl that
people probably looked at and said "I hope she has a wonderful
life." Now look at where I am now. Bracelets masking secrets
and voices in my head. And today I vow not to let those little
girls grow up and hurt like that. And hopefully I can learn
something from them too. Because I know I can't stay strong for
myself but they are the 2 people in my family that will always give
me hugs and fight for my attention, and I want to be something for
them to look up to, not something they dread to become.