My day in a
bottle:
When I wake, my eyes are sleepy just
like every other millionth person waking up in the morning. But as
if it is as painful to get dressed in the moring as it was to fall
asleep the night before. I'm tired. As I walk to take a shower
I look in the mirror. Worthless it screams. Maybe everyone around
says I'm beautiful, my heart tells me different. The shower is
where I think. The if's and why's of life. What did I ever
do to deserve this? My day drags on with the soles of my shoes
slowly sliding across the ground. Lifeless inside, bubbly and
outgoing on the outside. Maybe I smile, but if you looked in my
pale blue eyes you'd see the pain. The pain of a thousand
heartbreaks. The pain of ever loving someone and never learning to
let them go. If only the pain could go away, and if I could rip my
heart out maybe it would just stop. Sometime I just stop and think,
and stare in space for awhile. Others go in "la-la land",
meanwhile I'm in hell. My mind is slowly ripping me piece by
piece. As it tears open my wounded body internaly and I start to
break down and cry. Why, why, why. Why me? Maybe if I sleep it will
just go away. But what does it matter, it will just be there when I
wake up. Haunting me, sitting in the corner. Or that spot on the
wall. Taunting me. Mocking me. Telling me things I don't want
to hear. The faint cries for help that know one seems to notice.
The messed up mind from a once little girl who was known to make
funny noices with her voice. The girl that can make others laugh
but seems to make herself go crazy. But when I go to sleep at
night. My reality turns into my night terrors. Waking up crying, as
if the pain never ends. I soon fall back asleep, clinging to a
blanket only wishing it was someone to tell me I'm okay.
I'll be okay. But instead, I just wake, and my eyes are just
sleepy like every other millionth person waking up in the morning.-
k.d