I was 3 three freaking months clean untill an hour ago, i f*cking

I'm here. ♥
i doubt that means anything but
know that.

I know,

It does mean a lot Amenah. You're my sister and I love you to the moo- Naah scratch that to Pluto and back :3

I know,

It does mean a lot Amenah. You're my sister and I love you to the moo- Naah scratch that to Pluto and back :3

Wanna talk?

Stupid family, I dunno what to think anymore... 3 months.. The longest I've gone ashi...

That's really good. I'm really proud of you. That's a long time and it's wonderful. Good job :)

Don't think about them. Can I ask what they did?

Thanks ashi... Thanks a lot....



They've done a lot, when I say a lot it really does mean a lot of things, since the day I was born I've been alone. I just hate them so freaking much.. I dunno what to do anymore.. *sighs*

You're welcome. :)

It's hard when your family treats you like crap. Trust me going through the same thing. Don't care about what they say, if whatever they've said hasn't mattered it sure as hell shouldn't now. Being alone is better than living with people who treat you like sh-t.
You're strong and I know you can get through this and in a few years you'll be able to move out and not live with them anymore you'll be able to live your life the way you want to

Nope,move been going through SH-t since I was 8-9 years old, and I won't be able to freaking move out, I won't, we don't that here where I live. It's impossible trust me. I'm not strong, if I was strong I would've never relapsed but I did, and it hate myself for that. What they say does matter Ash, my family, is my biggest enemy, they've made me someone I had always despised.

I'm afraid I'll lose my life to suicide...

I'm sorry that happens to you. But you have to fight back you can't let them destroy you. And just because they have the same blood as you doesn't make them any better. Family is supposed to make you feel loved and safe and if they don't do that it's my a family just people you live with. Witty is my family. And maybe it could be yours too..

Don't worry about su.icide, cause I won't let your demons win, and you're really strong. Relapse is a part of recovery it might feel like a failure now but it'll be worth it cause you will get better it won't last forever. Talk to me if they say anything mean I'll help you. xx

But still Ash... I try to do everything they want me to do. It's like I can't even do anything now, I can't study, I can't concentrate, in the middle of a conversation I go mute. I feel like you know... Disappearing.. I just want to be okay.. Just for ones.. I wanna feel loved and cared for. I just wanna be hugged... I've never hugged... I just wanna feel safe... I'm so... Unimportant.. And so insane..


Demons ? Pfftt they love it.. I'm not strong, relapsing is just..l I dunno... I just did it.l i had been holding on for too long, I needed to cut... I had to..

It is a failure ash, I am a failure. Nothing's worth it....


I dunno... I'm so broken..

Who are you gonna be loved by when you're dead? Who's gonna talk to you? Who's gonna care for you? No one cause you'll be dead. You'll be more lonelier than ever it'll just be you and yourself no one else.

The voices in your head won't win. You've fought them for 3 months. Even the strongest people fail sometimes, no one is perfect. It's okay to give in, it happens but don't blame yourself cause it happens. What matters is that you were strong for 3 months which means it's possible for you to be clean again..

I'll help fix you if that's what it takes. You're really kind and sweet and I don't wanna lose you

No one... I'm lonely either way...


The voices in my head, had won Ash.. 3 months were the most hardest months of my life, I failed... I don't think I'll be clean ever... I'm so sorry...


You're more kind and sweet... I don't wanna lose you either...

How? You have me and everyone else on witty. We love you and care for you.

But you lasted 3 months and that's really good. I'm proud of ya. I know relapse is really hard but you're strong and you can fight them again. You just need time to recover and I'll help you then I'll help you fight them. When you're ready maybe we can do the butterfly project together?

Thanks :)

I've tried butterfly project it doesn't work, what works for me is... Distraction... I dunno and yeah... Witty is an amazing place, there's no doubt.

And I'm glad you guys accept me the way I am, but I bet if you guys were to be here then, you guys would hate me too.


Thanks a lot ash, it really does mean a lot

nah we wouldnt hate you no matter what.

and i love you no matter what and dont thank me im just telling the truth <3

I love you too ash! Eh....... But still thank you....

youre welcome :)

^.^ thanks a lot I needed someone

no probs :P