"You're
gonna feel my pain, someday; when you're sitting in your god
forsaken room,
still trying to ignore me, it'll finally hit you. And, my god, when it does, I'll never feel
more f v c k i n g satisfied." I read the crumpled paper 3 times through with shaking
hands. I swear I could feel his hot breath- hear the piercing words- right beside me.
And I remember seeing his absolutely crushed face when I ended the best two years
of my life. The note said it all: the face of an angel falling played behind my eyelids
as Fall Out Boy said to me, "My heart is on my sleeve-- wear it like a bruise or black
eye." A lump formed in my throat as tears like lava lined eyes replaying regrets.
I blamed him, too. Saying, "You hold me down." Saying, "Maybe you should've
changed." Saying, "You made me stop loving you. I couldn't help it." Who was I?
"I'm so ready to see you fall. Because at one point, I begged to be your everything.
Like the waves crash into the shore, like magnets come together, like gravity pulls
us to the Earth, I wanted you to be stuck to me. I wanted to be your everything-- your
center. You ruined me, too. You took advantage of that and tore me down." Every
word written consumed my entire entity. The four walls surrounding me were
creeping closer; the open window let in the sound of the willows weeping with me.
This was my breaking point; hardening my heart only worked so much.
He was right: I pondered where we could've come, which killed me inside.
"Well, when you beging to think of me again, just stay away. I don't want to see you."
Words like swords cut me through. I had broken the person that, deep down, I loved.
I hated myself. So I laid down, let my radio tune out my thoughts, and tried my
hardest to let the cold outside sneak in and freeze my emotions like they once were.
still trying to ignore me, it'll finally hit you. And, my god, when it does, I'll never feel
more f v c k i n g satisfied." I read the crumpled paper 3 times through with shaking
hands. I swear I could feel his hot breath- hear the piercing words- right beside me.
And I remember seeing his absolutely crushed face when I ended the best two years
of my life. The note said it all: the face of an angel falling played behind my eyelids
as Fall Out Boy said to me, "My heart is on my sleeve-- wear it like a bruise or black
eye." A lump formed in my throat as tears like lava lined eyes replaying regrets.
I blamed him, too. Saying, "You hold me down." Saying, "Maybe you should've
changed." Saying, "You made me stop loving you. I couldn't help it." Who was I?
"I'm so ready to see you fall. Because at one point, I begged to be your everything.
Like the waves crash into the shore, like magnets come together, like gravity pulls
us to the Earth, I wanted you to be stuck to me. I wanted to be your everything-- your
center. You ruined me, too. You took advantage of that and tore me down." Every
word written consumed my entire entity. The four walls surrounding me were
creeping closer; the open window let in the sound of the willows weeping with me.
This was my breaking point; hardening my heart only worked so much.
He was right: I pondered where we could've come, which killed me inside.
"Well, when you beging to think of me again, just stay away. I don't want to see you."
Words like swords cut me through. I had broken the person that, deep down, I loved.
I hated myself. So I laid down, let my radio tune out my thoughts, and tried my
hardest to let the cold outside sneak in and freeze my emotions like they once were.
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