"I am so
mad at myself.
I feel like
I hate myself
instead of
hating you
and I don't
know if that's possible.
Because
I convinced myself
I was over
you
and now I know it
was all pretend.
I pretended
I didn't
look at you
when you
didn't notice
I was.
I pretended
not to light up
when you
entered a
room.
I pretended
not to be
upset when
we got into a fight.
I pretended I
didn't
look forward to
seeing
you everyday.
I pretended
that I
wasn't hurt
when you
broke my
heart.
I pretended
I didn't
miss you when you
didn't come
around.
Now all these
lies have shown
me is that
I miss you
so much
more than
I had realized."