I see the sun shining in the sky, people around me being happy and
I have every reason to be happy. Yet my heart feels like it is
being swallowed by darkness and over-run by fear and anger. Why? I
have no reason to be this way. Perhaps it is because I have hurt so
many and helped so few, or that I have been so self centered and
cared not for anyone but those I felt were like me; alone, unloved,
unwanted and need somewhere to go. I help who ever I can and yet I
hurt so many more. I hate myself for this, and for the fact that no
matter how much I try to make things right things get worse. I want
only one thing: forgiveness for what I have done, the pain I have
caused, the hearts I have broken and the horrible things I have yet
to do in life. I deserve no forgiveness and know that I will not
be. I feel my heart growing colder but to all those I have hurt I
will absorb all your emotional pain, after all I am the reason for
most of it...
i love you,
-SheDreamer <3