A pain no
one sees
Funny how I get made to feel like such a zero
Today someone told me that I was their hero
Funny how I get made to feel like I'm stupid and vain
Nobody knows how deeply I think
Or how I go through so much pain
No, I am not selfish
I have a sickness inside
Something controls my mind
It makes me want to hide
It makes me hate myself
I don't starve myself to hurt another
No, this isn't
to hurt my parents, sister, or brother
Just me, this is about me
Why do they not see?
Why am I made to feel
Like I am to blame
Why do I live
With all of this shame?
Always thinking
Yet they think I don't think
My disorder is my friend
Yet it kills me inside
It makes me hate myself
It makes me want to hide
An ordinary girl
Is what they see
Nothing special
Nothing bright
Not smart or pretty
Maybe I wouldn't have so much hate
For myself, if they taught me
How to feel good about being me
They see me, but they don't see
Who I am inside
I may as well be invisible
Since I always hide
Since no one listens
I may as well not speak
Since they think I fake things
I may as well act weak
I know how loudly I speak
Not out loud
In my mind
I am lost
And search for something
That I can never find
I have a home
That doesn't feel like home
And a voice that goes unheard
Since no one ever listens
I may as well not speak a word
This poem is about how I get made to feel invisible and unheard, by people around me, especially my family. And how no one really understands what its like to have an eating disorder, unless they are going through it themselves.
Funny how I get made to feel like such a zero
Today someone told me that I was their hero
Funny how I get made to feel like I'm stupid and vain
Nobody knows how deeply I think
Or how I go through so much pain
No, I am not selfish
I have a sickness inside
Something controls my mind
It makes me want to hide
It makes me hate myself
I don't starve myself to hurt another
No, this isn't
to hurt my parents, sister, or brother
Just me, this is about me
Why do they not see?
Why am I made to feel
Like I am to blame
Why do I live
With all of this shame?
Always thinking
Yet they think I don't think
My disorder is my friend
Yet it kills me inside
It makes me hate myself
It makes me want to hide
An ordinary girl
Is what they see
Nothing special
Nothing bright
Not smart or pretty
Maybe I wouldn't have so much hate
For myself, if they taught me
How to feel good about being me
They see me, but they don't see
Who I am inside
I may as well be invisible
Since I always hide
Since no one listens
I may as well not speak
Since they think I fake things
I may as well act weak
I know how loudly I speak
Not out loud
In my mind
I am lost
And search for something
That I can never find
I have a home
That doesn't feel like home
And a voice that goes unheard
Since no one ever listens
I may as well not speak a word
This poem is about how I get made to feel invisible and unheard, by people around me, especially my family. And how no one really understands what its like to have an eating disorder, unless they are going through it themselves.
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