Depression Quote #6994790
all quotes · depression · suicide · living · quote ·

I don't want to die ; I just don't want to live .

I don't want to die ;

I just don't want to ~~live~~ .

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PainOfAPoet*

posted June 10, 2014 at 12:56am UTC tagged with depression, suicide, living, quote

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Imagine this... One day you and your husband, or you and your wife go to the doctors, you find out that you are pregnant! you celebrate you plan your future you dream of all things happy, you wonder what it will be, a boy or a girl??? You find you'd be happy with both, nine months pass, the female is on the table, she's giving birth, out comes the baby. It cries you hear its glorious voice, you get shot into the future you imagine them going to school, first date, all of the firsts, you hold it close and smile. 5 years later your little baby starts school, mommy and daddy feel lonely so they plan another baby, by the age of 6 you have a new child, another bit of perfection! By the age of ten the first child feels ignored, the second feels adored, the eldest shrugs the feeling off, says to themselves it will get better as time goes on. You are pregnant again, you say this is your last child, you make it the best. The eldest was a boy, strong, smart, loving and a sweet brother, the second was a daughter, you swore to her you'd never let her littel heart be broken, the last was a son, another one, a trouble maker. By age two his main goal is to steal the spotlight, by age five all he wants is mommy and daddy's eyes on him. The eldest feels ignored, but he's fifteen he pushes through, the daughter cries for you, all she wants is your attention, but your eyes are on the youngest, you want to treasure his childhood. 3 years flash by, your oldest is graduating, poof into college, he kisses his sister's head and tells her he'll always be there for her, then he leaves. You still are treasuring the youngest, you want him to stay a baby, so you ignore your daughter. She cries out for help, shes 15 now, she sobs, she starves herself to be perfect for another man some day, and she slices her skin. You've lost all interest in her, she only wants to be alone anyway, you let her. She rememebers her brother, who is now in college, who never comes home, she wants him to be there, she wants him to care, she needs him. Finally at age 16 she can't take it anymore, everyone is prettier, everyone is more loved, she takes a bottle of pills, puts her head in the noose, and steps off of the chair. Suddenly you have a flash back, to that beautiful baby girl in your arms, you cry out, begging her to come back, but it's too late, don't you see? You killed your own child, you didn't see it, you can only blame yourself. The day of the funeral her brother comes back into town, he cries on the grave of his dead little sister, he begs her to forgive him, he begs her to come back. But she can't, she's dead. Your eldest turns to alcohol, drinking away the memories, in 5 years he's a full blown alcoholic, and he takes his life and kills himself, he needs her in his life. Your youngest is alone now, you try to stay strong, you try todo everything for him but you just can't. Both of his parents fall into depression and he's left alone. He struggles through but all of a sudden he's faced with bullying, they say he's the reason that his sister killed herself, was it true? He clings to drugs, they take him away into a place of peace, at age 18 he's almost going to graduate, he panics, he over doses and you are alone. All of you children are dead, what do you do now? Life is over, you live but its a constant struggle, it never gets better, it never gets easier. You wish you could go back, you would do anything just to see them again, but you can't. You die inside. Yes you matter, don't give up. And always pay attention to others actions. Save a life. MY QUOTE
What I've learned from the Internet: Self defense techniques, art appreciation, dealing with basic life situations, politics, the economy, biology facts, to be open-minded and accepting of everyone (no matter the shape, form, gender, race, sexuality, religion, social status) the difference between gray and grey, the effect one simple, little word can have on people both good and bad, how to deal with depression, anxiety, and suicidal feelings, some of the theories of our existence, why the plague didn't effect Poland, what to do if I get buried alive, etc. What I've learned in school: How to use a calculator to find the side of a triangle
I wonder what it feels like right before you jump off the edge, knowing your life is going to end.
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star I want to hit you with my car Throw you off a tree so high Hope you snap your neck and die ♥