Love Quote #6997849
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The first time I cried in front of him was on a sunday. It was

The first time I cried in front of him was on a sunday.

It was January I believe- but I can't tell you for sure. He always tended to have that effect on me. He was such an easy going person that many of our memories together went unrecorded and unwritten, only to be remembered in the torrential cavities of our minds. That was quite a big step for me, considering I had always considered myself an organized person with a healthy tendency to create list after list reminding myself of what needed to be done.
It was only until I experienced the unconventional method of simply sitting back and letting things happen that I realized that my feverish list-making habits were nothing more than a bulleted way to stress over ever-changing things. There was no real method to the lazy madness ensued by Jacob and I, so I supposed calling it such is misleading.
Together we experienced the madness of life itself in its untouched form, untainted by the hands of us and humanity around us.
We learned that when you leave things to happen, they occur the way they are intended to.
Sometimes a baby bird must die for a flower to grow. Sometimes you must let someone leave if they aren't doing you any good. 
The first time I cried in front of him was when my dog died.
I had never been good at crying in front of people. When I was little and I would find myself with tears streaming down my cheeks, I would go stand in front of the mirror and stare directly at my red, distressed face. I could only ever stare for a couple moments before I'd find myself starting to giggle at the atrociously hideous face before me. Snot nosed and puffy eyed I'd end up full out laughing at myself because I couldn't even believe how ugly I looked with those stressed out tears pouring out of my eyes and that downturned gasping mouth that made me look like a fish out of water.
It sounds vain, trust me I know, but ever since then I had taught myself never to cry in front of people. Never in a million years would I have expected myself to be sobbing into the arms of a boy as kind and beautiful as Jacob was (my ugly crying face was completely not expected to ever see the light of day). 
But that was the thing about Jacob.
Everything was different with him.
While I cried, Jacob didn't make a sound. No comforting hum came out of his chest and no gentle words left the salmon pink lips that kissed me ever so softly on the forehead. Instead of trying to tell me everything was going to be okay, he just held me.
He rocked me back and forth calmy, his strong arms holding my trembling frame in the secure sort of way that made me feel at home.
With him I learned the value of silence. The undeniable worth of letting someone pour their heart out to you and listening as a student rather than as a teacher. Theres a lesson to be found in everything that happens, but sometimes it's best if that lesson goes unsaid. 
I still think about him, Jacob I mean. All the time in fact. His presence is always there.
There is no sadness in his absence in my life however. Just a thankful presence of memories that lay fondly in my heart.

-------
iwishiwasdifferent


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EmoTional_WreckXxXxXxXY0UNGL0V3MURD3RBrown_Eyed_Wonder*

iwishiwasdifferent

posted June 22, 2014 at 11:18pm UTC tagged with love, friendship, inspirational, cute, story, quote

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