never finalize negative feelings.
they will make a bed in your head, feed you lies each day, and
take you away from what great part of your life that could have
been.
as I look back on the negative posts I made years ago, I can
assure you that I only feel penitence and pity for the girl who
wrote them. I wish I hadn't made posts like that, because it
had me believing for the longest time that it was all true -
and that only validated more negativity in my life. it became a
disease that corrupted my thoughts. I was diving head first
into shallow end of murky waters.
those feelings don't exist anymore. I had, with so much effort
and many, many crazy months of self help, positivity, constant
goal digging, human interaction, and hard work, gotten over it.
it definitely wasn't easy and I continue to work on
it, but believe me, I have gotten over the worst and I've
gotten so much better now.
after all this time, it leaves me to wonder what I'd have had
and where I'd have been if only I'd been positive instead. but
this doesn't necessarily mean I'm regretting. I have learned a
lot. but you can't help but wonder if the possibilities weren't
ever empty.
If any one of you are in the state that I was in - my advice is
not to worry, not to finalize the bad; see the good, you are a
strong person. strong doesn't mean it can't break you, it means
you are already broken, except that you can be
fixed.
you can recover.
Also, welcome back. I hope you're here to stay; I've certainly missed you.