i am full of so many emotions and i do not know what to say and

i am full of so many emotions and i do not know what to say and so i resort to writing because words flow better from my hands than they ever will from the over-crowded, contaminated space within my mouth. but i do not know what to write because this feeling is so intensely strange and i have no idea as to what if means nor why i am feeling it. so if i cannot describe this feeling with neither my hands nor mouth, what shall i do instead? I cannot simply let it simmer, for it will explode forth within me and paint the room in a spray of brazen, blood-splattered glory. Perhaps the blood will spell out the feeling i so desperately crave to know? Perhaps I shall wait.