"this is me asking
for help. this is me reaching out, and admitting that i'm in
need of assistance. i'm scared. i'm terrified. i used to
fall asleep and pray to god that'd wake up, but now i pray to
god that i don't. i've cried thousands of tears, and
i've done things that really f*cked me up, and i just want to
get better. and i'm sorry that it's 3am and i just woke
you up, but i needed you to know that i want to get better.
i'm sick of feeling empty, like i do all this sh*t for other
people, and i leave myself with nothing. i'm going to stop
hurting other people. i'm going to stop pretending i'm
okay, when i'm really not. it scared me, it really did.
i've gotten so used to picking myself off, brushing off the
dust and telling myself that'd i'd be okay, that i would
keep going and everything would be okay, but this time, i was
lying on my floor, and i couldn't do it. i couldn't pick
myself up. that scared the sh*t out of
me."
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