Story Quote #7026596
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Good Night, Dad -Luken Grace I could always talk to my dad.

Good Night, Dad
-Luken Grace 

I could always talk to my dad. He was more like a big kid than an actual adult. In fact, he looked much younger than his forty-one years. 
He had straight black hair and a mustache, with no signs of graying or balding. He stood a strong six feet and had dark green eyes that seemed to always be laughing at some secret joke. Even my friends, who he'd make fun of without mercy, loved him. Most of my peers would be embarrassed to have thier dad hang around with them, but not me; in fact, I took great pride in him. No one else had a dad as cool as mine.
After he came home frmo work, we went inside, and I began to get ready for bed. As I entered my room, I looked over and saw my dad working intently at his computer in his office, which was across from my bedroom. As I watched him, I had the most incredible urge to just poke my head in and tell him that I loved him. I quickly brushed that urge away and continued on into my room. I couldn't possibly say to him, "I love you" I hadn't said that to him or anyone since I was seven, when my mom and dad tucked me in and kissed me goodnight. It just wasn't something a man said to another man. Still, as I walked in and closed my bedroom door behind me, the feeling continued to grow inside of me. I turned around, opened my door and poked my head into my dad's office.
"Dad," 
"Yes"
"Um.. I just wanted to say goodnight."
"Oh, Goodnight."  and I went back to my room and shut the door.
Why didn't I say it? What was I afraid of? I told myself by saying that maybe I'd have the courage to say it later; but even as i told myself that, I knew it might never happen. For some reason, I felt that was going to be the closest I'd ever come to telling my dad I loved him, and it made me angry with myself. Deep within me, I began to hope he'd know that when I said "Goodnight," I really meant to say I love you. 

The next day was just like any other. After school, I walked with my best friend to his house, however, his mom surprised us by picking us up in the parking lot. She asked me whose house I was going to, and when I said "yours" she said, "no, I have this feeling your mom wants you home right now." I didn't expect anything. I thought she wanted to do soemthing with her own family and I didn't want to intrude.
As we pulled up to my house, I saw a lot of cars in front and a few people I knew walking up our front stairs.
My mom greeted me at the front door. Tears were streaming down her face. She then told me, in the calmest voice she could manage, the worst news of my life. "Dad's dead."
At first, I just stood there as she hugged me, not able to move or react. In my mind, I kept repeating 'Oh god no.. This can't be true..Please' .. But i kenw I wasn't being lied to. 
Why didn't I say it?! 
Once in my room, I hurt so badly that my whole body went numb and I collapsed on the floor, sobbing. A few moments later, I heard a scream from downstairs and then my baby brothers voice crying out, "Why, Mommy!" That's when I knew my mom just told him what had happened. For the next half hour, I tried to explain to him why Heavenly Father wanted our dad back with him, while I tried to pull myself back together.
I was told my father had died in an accident at work. Somehow, he had been knocked off the crane he was inspecting. Workers nearby said they didn't hear him shout or anything. He was pronounced dead on arrival at eleven o'clock that morning, May 21, 1993. 
I never really told my dad I loved him. I wish I had. I miss him very much.
When I see him again after this life, I know that the first thing I'm going to say to him is, "I love you." But until then, "Good night, Dad."


  

 

1 Comment

leggings 9 years ago
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literally crying right now
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3 Wittians like this

leggingsY0UNGL0V3MURD3RMiluiel*

AubreeMae

posted December 17, 2014 at 3:22pm UTC tagged with story, sad, mademecry, quote

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