Dear Nobody, I look in the mirror today, tonight at this very

Dear Nobody,

I look in the mirror today, tonight at this very moment. I don't see myself anymore. No like i haven't seen myself before, its just...cloudier. I don't feel right. I don't feel like I have a self. A personality that i could call my own.. I'm faded, lying awake at night wondering how long before the next horrible crash will commence. I shouldn't think that way. I  can't think like that. However, although it is apparaent that i have a good and perfect life. I am truly grateful for, of course. but i"m scared of losing it. I'm scared of not being able to talk to people. I want to help people. But i don't think I'm needed. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not there. That theres a barrier between me and a lot of my friends. I think it's myself to be honest. There's something wrong with me that doesn't let me get close to people. Theres just something wrong with me. I want to spend time with my old friend but it seems like I'm never around to be with him. I want to talk to all my other friends but I feel like i bother the hell out of them by texting first...I just..don't know what to do.. Everyone thinks I'm okay right now.. everyone just thinks I'm okay..

I'm okay...

                                                   ~ S.K.B.