the only
thing i'm really hoping for
this school year is to
not be as lonely as i was these past two years. all the
schoolwork, all, all the boy issues, and all the problems with
myself, they'll be hard too; but i know i can deal with
them. i just don't want to spend this year alone. i
don't want to have to sit alone at the cafeteria table. i
don't want to 95% of the time have to work with a stranger
when the teacher asks us to pair up. i don't want to feel
lonely on weekends or avoid social media due to being triggered
by everyone having fun without me. i don't want to have to
skip school events as simple as field trips or as big as prom
because i don't even have any friends to go with. i hate it
when other people casually say the phrase "i have no
friends", because i feel as though they're only saying
that because that's what they feel, but it
isn't the actual truth. they don't
legitimately know what it feels like to have zero
friends, and that's what bothers me. the years that are
supposed to be the "best years of my life" i have
spent being lonely and wishing i had more of a social life more
often than not. i don't want to waste any more time being
so unhappy. so i'm hoping this will be my year; i'm
hoping this will finally be my time to shine. this is my last
year of high school, and i have also heard many people say that
"it gets better after high school", and that's
great, but i want it to get better as soon as possible.
i've been suffering too hard and for too long, and i want
this year to be the year that it will finally stop, and i can
finally start living my life the way i wish to.
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