Inspirational Quote #7053282
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How do you explain it? I don't know. I don't know. It's

How do you explain it?
I don't know. I don't know.
It's somewhere between something learnt and something grown into.

After-effects of moments ruined by pencil smudges, camera flashes, the beeps of a recorder, the smile that becomes mechanical as you wait for the shutter to blink. The aftermath of boxing up so much of yourself and putting it on show for everyone — alone, left wondering what you left for yourself. The aftercare of giving so much of yourself away to anyone who has the time to take you that in the end, you are an apartment full of furniture that was bought to be looked at, not used. You learn, after documenting so much of your existence, after trying to get people to notice it, that in the end, it's not fun. It's not rewarding. It's alarming and scary and... it makes you feel poor.

It's also collecting as you go, when you're walking and you carry your luggage like a trophy, your baggage like a ballchain, your memories like a parasol against a too-hot sun, your scars like a jacket against the cold. You exist in more than just the moment. And that only comes with time; that comes after having friends come and go, and then meeting someone who might never know how your heart broke but still ends up close to you. It's meeting new people, talking about everything that's important to you, without bringing up childhood trauma or I wish, I wish, I wish. There's so much of you 
— you don't fit in any boxes anymore. There's too much to show that it's impossible. Practically, pragmatiaclly, sensibly, realistically, you can't show everyone all of you, because you
                                                                                                                                          are
                                                                                                                                                  so
                                                                                                                                                         
rich.

So you start to think more about what you do want to share, and what parts you do want the world to know about. What videos will you record? What journal entries will you write? What songs will you recommend? What books will you read? What stories will you tell? Which stories will you share?

(it's exciting, it's exciting, it's big and small and part of you, and it's exciting)




 

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Amenah

posted August 27, 2015 at 8:15pm UTC tagged with inspirational, advice, doesthisevenmakesense, essaysonbreathing, isanyonegonnagetthis, growingupissoweird, itssofuckingweirdwtfhahaha, quote

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