Life Quote #7056151
all quotes · life · hatemyself · suicidalthougths · imnevergoingtomakeitanywhere · quote ·

My suicidal thoughts are coming back...

My suicidal thoughts are coming back...

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Rachel97

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posted October 8, 2015 at 11:30am UTC tagged with life, hatemyself, suicidalthougths, imnevergoingtomakeitanywhere, quote

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About a month ago, I started cutting again. Before that I went two months witghout cutting (note:that is a new record for me) Shortly after I started again, my aunt found out. She went through the same thing as a teenager. She talked me out of cutting for the first time on Sunday. Ever since then she has messaged me every night to make sure I wasnt cutting. And I feel bad, but every night I tell her I didn't cut, even on the nights that I did. I have also been feeling like I shouldn't be alive anymore. Like no one would really miss me. Like I'm nothing but a bother to everyone. I feel the need to cut. It's the one thing that I actualy have control over. Everything else in my life is controled by those around me. My job is controled by my boss. My grades are controled by my teachers. My free time, is no longer free time, because that too is controled by others. I have almost no say in anything that happens in my life anymore. I know this is not a happy post, but just note that I don't expect you to have sympathy for me, I don't expect anyone to care.
I want to see my baby so bdladly that I just sat outside his work for almost two hours waiting for him to go on his lunch break

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