I know what it's like to have no friends. To dread recess and
lunch because there was no one I could sit or play with. To dread
group projects that were supposed to be fun, because I would be
the only one without a pair. I know what it feels like to have a
wide smile on your face as a group of girls approach you and
slowly feel it falter as they tell you "they don't like you" and
giggle together as they run away. I know what it's like to
silently weep into a pillow late at night, asking God why I
didn't deserve any companions. I know what it's like to have no
friends, and now that I have four, yes four, that's a number I
can count on one hand, but it's doesn't matter because I have
four more than I ever did. And it's amazing. There's no dread
anymore. I get excited about things I'm supposed to get excited
over now. So now that I've passed that lonely stage of my life,
when I see someone sitting alone and I invite them to come
over, I'm not being fake. I'm not being overly nice. I'm not
trying to be anything that I'm not. If you knew what it felt like
to be at that degree of lonesome, you wouldn't want anyone to
feel like that ever again. So as you snicker away, I will
continue to allow new kids into my friendship circle, and one
day, when your own friends realise the kind of mean you are and
up and leave you, maybe then you'll appreciate me, when I ask if
you, too, want to play basketball. I won't treat you like a
charity case, but another valued member in my team. Something
that I wish someone would have done for me, after all those
years.
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