No one really tells you how the incurable case of not belonging
seeps through your adolescent years and right into your adult
life. It doesn’t really matter how many calendar pages I
turn, I know the heaviness of finding my place will be right
there waiting for me.
But I don’t think anyone ever feels like they completely
belong, we just stop noticing – like the abrupt yet
somehow still discreet transition from winter into spring, when
one day you wake up and it’s warm enough to leave without
a jacket. And eventually it becomes so second nature you forget
when it happened altogether.
I guess that’s what I’m waiting for – the
cold intrusive feeling to lift one day so I can see what
it’s like to live without being constantly reminded to
keep myself warm.