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posted March 23, 2016 at 2:34pm UTC tagged with
love, eclipse, twilightsaga, jacobblack, stepheniemeyer, quote
more quotes by seafoam*
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he'd been right all along.
He was more than just my friend. That's why it was so impossible to tell him goodbye – because I was in love with him. Too. I loved him, much more than I should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it was not enough to change anything; it was only enough to hurt us both more. To hurt him worse than I ever had. I didn't care about more than that – than his pain. I more than deserved whatever pain this caused me. I hoped it was bad. I hoped I would really suffer. In this moment, it felt as though we were the same person. His pain had always been and would always be my pain – now his joy was my joy. I felt joy, too, and yet his happiness was somehow also pain. Almost tangible – it burned against my skin like acid, a slow torture.
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"Don't say that. You know how much you mean to me. I'm sorry it's not in the way that you want, but that's just how it is. You're my best friend. At least, you used to be. And still sometimes are . . . when you let your guard down."
He smiled the old smile that I loved. "I'm always that," he promised. "Even when I don't . . . behave as well as I should. Underneath, I'm always in here."
"I know. Why else would I put up with all of your crap?"
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What if Paris had been Juliet's friend? Her very best friend? What if he was the only one she could confide in about the whole devastating thing with Romeo? The one person who really understood her and made her feel halfway human again? What if he was patient and kind? What if he took care of her? What if Juliet knew she couldn't survive without him? What if he really loved her, and wanted her to be happy?
And… what if she loved Paris? Not like Romeo. Nothing like that, of course. But enough that she wanted him to be happy, too?
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It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me. I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.
I did not resurface.