WHY AM I STILL IN PAIN? it's been six months and i'm

 

        it's been six months and i'm still angry at you. don't be fooled by anything i sent you or by however kind i seemed to be talking to you for the past six months. i'm going to make it clear right now that I DON'T want you back and i NEVER will, before you jump to any conclusions that this is going to be another sappy passage about how much i miss you and acting like we're going to have a future together. 
         i did all the things they tell you to do after a breakup. i did all the things they tell you to do to get over someone. i've met new people who appreciate me for who i am. i've had various people tell me that you weren't worth my time. but you know, the funny thing is, i could have the whole world in favor of me and against you and i'd still hate you. all the things that i'd thought would help didn't because you damaged me that much. 
       six months after a break up with no communication, most people would feel indifferent towards their exes, some even friends with them. worst case scenario, their ex would only be a passing thought with only a small wave of pain. but YOU, you disposed of me. you treated me like i was nothing to you, you killed my self esteem, you caused me so much anxiety, you disrespected me, you lied to me, and you went back to the girl you know you secretly still wanted to be with within weeks. i wish you could have just stayed with her because you two are obviously perfect together and you seem to like her more than you've ever liked me.
      people ask me why i am still hostile towards you, they tell me to "grow up" they ask me, "why are you still in pain?" and i tell them "how would you feel if you were just disposed of like that?" when someone shows you how unimportant you are, it has a lasting effect. any aggravation and distaste i give you you sure as hell deserve. 

have fun with the girl of your dreams. but watch out for karma, because it's going to kick your αss.