5 pm: woke up with my dog. felt incredibly hungry and wanted
5 pm: woke up with my dog. felt incredibly hungry and wanted to
leave my house to get groceries but didn't want to go to a store.
probably anxious thoughts come up out of the pressure I put myself
in to be this super confident and healthy person which is not the
reality of my day-to-day practices. I feel depressed and
antagonized whenever I try to be welcoming of positivity. I pretty
much expect the worst and accept that reclusive habits decisively
work out in the end.
10 pm: went downstairs in the kitchen with the intention of asking
my mother to open a can of black beans for me but ate a granola bar
instead. still unsure why I didn't boil water to drink tea because
that same reason to avoid it is fully ingrained at this very moment
cause I usually would be worried to not have drank my tea by now
(awake for almost 12 hrs)
12 am: back in the kitchen and made an amateur oat bake topped with
almond butter. realizing that I should have added strawberries to
it. watched wolf on wall street, got hungry during it so I ate a
pear and the rest of the apple pie snaps in a bag (no regrets
4 am: right now I just finished an episode of Toradora! and drank
an entire water bottle. about to do a workout video requiring dumb
bells. my post-workout meal should be sweet potato fries, but can I
muster enough willpower to battle my craving for candy?