Haha fair enough. Yeah I remember running out to kiss you
in that rain. Was raining so crazy on and off that day like the
scenes from the notebook. You ran out in your socks. lol. Suck a
dork. I look for your car everytime I pass sonic still.
That's not how I pictured you living life after us. Hoped you
were living it better. You know it's ridiculous how
often I check this just to see if you've replied. I try to
stall my time in between checks but farmville gets borring after
an hour or so lol. Only reason I'm going in the military is
because I blew it with school and still don't know what I
want to do. The military is the only way I can find out and get
another shot at school. Currently sitting at home. It's kinda
chaotic right now. We're ripping the carpet out of the
bedrooms so the house is a disaster. Everything is in the
kitchen. It's driving me nutts with all the clutter. Even
though I'm home it's like I'm still partially not.
Even though my stuff is everywhere feel like was already like
that because pretty much stopped living at home so kinda got
kicked outta my room. Just keep bouncing around I guess. Thought
about getting a place a while back but I'd only be paying for
all my crap to be there. I text my recruiter the other day about
paying off my car and he said all I have to do is get a statement
so I have proof of my payment arrangement and that I've paid
on it. So that's all I'm waiting on then I've gotta
go back down to MEPS and just swear in then I'm waiting. I
don't know what else to do with myself and although it's
scary that we might end up in world war three while I'm in I
feel like I still need to do it. I don't think we'll be
together any time soon so kind of need to I guess do something to
kill time. Plus I can't break her heart if I don't go so
I have too. It's my only logical reason other than admitting
the truth. Actually broke it off and it was hard. Not because of
feelings or anything like that but I had to figure out what it
was I was breaking it off for. Was it because I'm hoping the
future will come sooner because maybe it'll have something
instore for us or do I do it because she's not the type of
woman I plan to marry. I did it for me. Atleast that's what I
tell myself. I hope it was for me because I can't bet on
you.