i never contemplated suicide seriously before until this day.

i never contemplated suicide seriously before until this day.
it sucks how in life, once things finally feel like they are falling in place the world starts to deteriorate
i do not know why these things happen to me
i dont know why my ex boyfriend abused me
i dont know why my other ex boyfriend manipulated and cheated on me
i don't know why i constantly fail
i dont know a lot of things
all i do know is that there is no way out


i have messed up a lot in my life
i have hurt people
i regret hurting my parents the most
there is no way out

i dont want to hurt my parents even more
i dont want to hurt my family
i dont want to hurt my brother
i dont want to hurt my boyfriend
i dont know what to do
there is no way out

the way i hurt is weird
i think im depressed
i dont know what i am
i dont know who i am
i dont like school and the stress of my life
i try to trick myself into liking it
but at 11:04
alone
staring at the ceiling from your damp sheets of cold sweats and tears
you realize
there is no way out.