Before you, I was terrified of being in love. I had seen it fall
Before you, I was terrified of being in
I had seen it fall apart too many time and I wanted
with that. I had seen it make my sister go crazy and get
hurt and cry in the corner of our bedroom. I had seem it make my
friends forget how to love themselves. I saw how hard it hit and
how fast and at the same time, how beatiful it made someones life
look. And I had even thought I found it once. But I was wrong and
I broke someone the same way I watched it break everyone
And for that I'm not sure I ever forgave myself.
And so I swore that if it showed up again, I would just say
But that was the thing about you.
When I met you, thats not what it was like. You didnt offer me
crazy love right away. You just sat with me and listened to me
until 4a.m. You told me funny stories and tried to make me laugh.
you were always there And then it came slowly. Like a sunrise
creping out and softly shining its light until the whole shy
becoems a bit brighter. Bit by bit everything catches the light
and the whole sky lights up. And if you stand in the middle of
thhis light you feel warm and safe and you're not worried
about what will happen when the light goes away. You just know
that standing in the sun, is exactly where you're supposed to
And thats what loving you was like.
from a book I'll never write// thats why I call you
my sunshine //