I guess I can try to
make sense of the paranoia. I want their attention. It bothers me
because the signs are always there. People are not here, but I
imagine them and it seems like they are close to me and accompany
me everywhere I go. I want to be happy without it. But the way
things are always aligned, it seems to be working in my favor. I
don't know whether to get my hopes up or to feel angry at
myself for insisting on this. Why doesn't one of them just
confess? Why am I so afraid to end this delusion? Will they reach
their goal eventually or am I tied to this for good? Am I already
too attached? I know. It's weird. Please go away.
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