I was so mad today. I went to the backyard and teared up for

I was so mad today. I went to the backyard and teared up for a bit. It was so embarrassing. I didn't realise but I kept picking away at my skin, when I was done a small patch had turned blood red. I only realised when dad asked if I fells on rocks. I didn't notice I did that to myself, I was so distracted that I hurt myself. My knee is throbbing. It's so scary. Never again. This is a form of self sabotage I won't fall victim to and make a habit out of. I was on autopilot. I'm scared of myself atm. It's not a good feeling. My knee hurts and it was unconsciously intentional.