How did this happen? What have I done? I was so happy with him

How did this happen?
What have I done?
I was so happy with him
He was everything I have ever wanted
Then I ruined it
All because of a stupid little thing
How could I have let the fear control me?
Always putting myself down and believing I'm not good enough
Letting the toxic thoughts come to the surface
I know I shouldn't
I know that I should have dismissed them
Why must I sabotage myself?
Why can't I let myself be happy?
Why can't I believe that I am good enough to be loved?
I ruined my happiness
I hurt him so bad
I wish I could take the pain from you
I wish I could take back what I did
All I want is you
My reason to smile and laugh
Why do we realize too late that were in love?
Why does it take losing them to make you realize how much you need him?
I want the touch of your hands on me, I want your lips on mine
I just want your attention, your gaze on me, your arms around me
I want you
I need you
I am so lost without you
I promise I'll be yours, forever
I promise I won't leave, not until you don't want me
Without you, I am a robot
Moving through time, mechanically, getting up only because I must
Going through the motions, putting on a fake smile
Numb, empty, and emotionless
Everything in me is screaming to give up
But I can't let go of the hope that there might be a chance
If you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise I'll never hurt you again
I promise I'll let go of the fear and insecurities
I promise I'll stop letting it control me
Please, my love, take me back
I might be stupid, insecure and a bit crazy
But you'll never find anyone else who's in love with you as much as me