I think that the happiness I need in my life is a baby. I think
thats what in my heart I want the most. But the most messed up part
about it all is that I know how he is with Gracie. I know how it is
with him being a baby daddy. If us having a baby would change him
into a better person maybe Id be more willing but I dont see us
getting married. I dont see it because I want to leave Oroville. I
tried having a serious conversation with him about it and hes not
gunna leave because his family friends and baby are all here. But
is it fair for me to continue to put my dreams and my happiness on
hold for him? Is it fair for us to both rely on this website so
much to just get a glimpse of eschothers lifes still? I told my
coworker the basic history of you &' I , and Jon &' I . Its crazy
to talk about it all to someone else , to have someone who doesnt
know of either of you so she can be honest. High school
sweethearts. All our adventures. Everything ya know. How can you
give me so much crap when youre still with her as well? Do you even
love her?