Advice Quote #7076438
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my names devan, i'm currently 18 years old turning 19 in

my names devan, i'm currently 18 years old turning 19 in may. i know that really isn't important but to me its everything,  you see. i lost my grandpa on my 15th birthday due to oral cancer. i resent that day. and now i hate my birthdays because of it. me and my grandpa were two peas in a pod. we did everything together. every weekend we'd go to our favorite chinese buffet and eat till we couldn't anymore cause that was our favorite food. i miss him so much it hurts more than anything and i think that thats why i'm so broken today. he took a big part of who i was when he left and i don't know how to get it back. i'm in school right now and i can't even focus on my school work cause all i can think about is him and its making me want to cry. but i don't want the other students seeing me at my weakest. i'm going to my boyfriends after school for the weekend like i always do and today is our 6 month anniversary and honestly i'm dreading it because of how i feel right now. i just want to be held by him till we fall asleep. i don't even want to celebrate our anniversary. not that it has anything to do with grandpa i'm just really depressed. i could really use a friend or something 

1 Comment

debauchery* 5 days ago
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I lost my grandmother, who I was very close to, to pancreatic cancer last May, and I recently had my first birthday without her, so I know it's hard. But I also know they'd be proud of us for continuing our lives, even if we don't necessarily want to and even if they're vastly different without them. Your grandpa will never leave you, he's in your memories and in your very blood: he's helped make you who you are. So please take care of yourself for him, and for everyone else who loves you here on earth.
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